What are some of the things you should avoid doing in your first 30 years of life? – Quora

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 10:11:34 GMT

Things to avoid in your first 30 years:

  • Getting married
  • Having children
  • Addictions* that waste time, energy, and resources and keep you from focusing and working on your goals.

*The list of addictions to avoid includes drugs, food, sex, safety, acceptance, money, gambling, video games, and social media (FB, Quora, Twitter, etc).

After remaining dormant for months this answer is suddenly receiving new interest in the form of upvotes and comments (many letting me know how wrong this advice might be). 

For that reason I’d like to add the following:

  • What I originally wrote was not intended for everyone.
  • Please read the comments left by individuals who are very happy they married when they were in their early 20s and had children before they were 30.
  • Since it would be unfair to the previous 152 up voters to change the original answer I’d like to emphasize that (I should have originally written) people in their 20s should think very long and extremely hard before getting married or having children before they turn 30. In other words, getting married and having children at any age should be a conscious choice.
  • I’ve seen and met too many people who “fall into” lives they later regret. Often because one of the two people in a relationship was pressured, cajoled, and/or tricked into marrying someone they were dating. Or a momentary carelessness resulted in an unplanned child.
  • Over the decades I’ve had hundreds of employees who never made a career choice in their lives. Instead, because they married and had children early on, or were burdened with paying for ruinous divorces, raising children, and/or child support, they were left with no choice but to accept (and remain at) jobs they hate because they can’t afford to miss a single paycheck or live without the fringe benefits.

One of the first philosopher/mystics I read taught that we are a conglomeration of personalities that take turns fighting for control. Which explains why the personality that commits to waking up early and exercising the next morning is easily ignored by the personality in control eight hours later that decides to stay in bed and skip exercising.(The object is to chrystalize = develop an objective center capable of making the same decisions, and sticking to them, regardless of circumstances.) (内在的和谐统一。但是切换personalities有哪些切实的坏处?)

I still remember reading a single line that changed my life. 

“Most people spend their lives paying off an I-O-U signed by one of their many conflicting personalities.” 

For far too many people, the lone personality that ruins their lives is the horny one that obsesses over getting laid and ends up committing all the personalities to marriages and children none of the personalities actually want.

******** Someone’s Comment ******

Avoid not failing.  As in, you SHOULD fail.  Fail a lot.

  • Fail in love
  • Fail in work
  • Fail in friends
  • Fail in family
  • Fail in self-awareness
  • Fail in self-esteem

You won’t have to try, these failures will happen naturally.  Let them happen, do not live in fear of them.